Late night feels

So I'm gonna try this new thing, late at night (English time because I'm obviously English) I will post something emotional or something for ego boosts Ect.

So late night feels tonight is something I don't think I'm gonna get over (but that's probably me being an over emotional teen and I'll look back at this and think was I on drugs?)
But, I digress, it's hard to admit, but I am still in love with my ex, after everything I still want a hug because I know only a hug from him would make me feel better. And I've tried to look at other guys and I wish I could say that I though I would bang them but in all honesty, I can't and I don't, I can't see my self with anyone else, but he don't want anything to do with me so ... Fun right tell me about it :/

It sucks. I hate it if anything its bad that I have nightmares about him, the evil look he would give me the way he would talk down to me and I wake in the middle of the night and cry because it really is the worse this I have ever felt and I can't stop it, can't change it i have to deal with the pain while he's alright he's probably got another girlfriend by now and forgot about me ... so thats my feels tonight

rant.

Okay, if you don't like ranting, please leave now.
Scene kids. always posting 'oh why do my parents hate me so much'. Ill tell you why because they spend a lot of money raising a kid to be normal not nyan cats poop. and yeah they might shout at you. but all parents do to their kids, so they know right from wrong and stuff, it's not because they actually hate you or anything so don't feel so special sweetheart, everyone gets it, please grow up, and take those ridiculous  multi-colours extensions out of your hair and wipe off the neon cum you call make-up off your face, for the love of god!
and stop with all the lyric posting and depressive poetry, oh roses are red violets are blue the world hates me and I hate you sort of thing, I don't want to hear it and I think sure as hell I can speak on behalf of some others that they don't want to hear it either. one other thing, saying rawr is not cute. stop.

I have lost all faith in humanity

bit of a downer

today, probably not my best, its bad to look back at you holiday and think about the people you used to be so close with and to know that when the ex-boyfriend left that they left with them, those people were really close to me, so I thought I though they were going be there when I needed them, but they were not, so i had to go through one of the worse times I have had in my life so far, on my own its bit of a bad place. ashes to ashes, dust to dust life moves on, so this is all I want to say if any of you reading this have problems like this talk to me, because I do not want anyone to be like I was back then, I just wont.


this is the picture that I think about every time I think about my ex ... makes me giggle
song of the day: pendulum: other side

Long days and early nights

Gotta admit only a week into college and i can feel the need for sleep growing, I've just got out of college, I'm writing this on the bus hah, but I gotta say sorry to my ex. every time I argued with him I didn't know how bad he had it, I feel terrible physically,
Any who college is fun so far, get in into game design and animation, CGI shizzle tis a long road but thats the sorta thing I want to do :)
Song of the day,
Foo fighters: these days

its a funny story really ...

So it was a week or two until prom and I needed a haircut and my friend who had no training in hairdressing needed some money, so I though what is the worst that could happen, so I was at her house and she was cutting my hair everything was going nicely .. until her boyfriend showed up and she left me there and that's when her mum walked in the room and said " oh, she didn't do a good at that" now I was laughing because well that was her daughter she was talking about, but I then soon realised ....ooooh that my hair she talking about but before I could say anything her mum picked up the scissors and started to cut my hair and when she was finished and I got home to look in the mirror .... damn that was the worst. I cannot begin to explain how bad it looked. it was like my hair was cut diagonally from both sides if you understand what I mean, and I had to go to a real hairdressers and have a "rescue haircut" which resulted in me having a bob ... I still hate it .. I loved my long hair :''( and i went to prom like that :L that's the story  

my first day

phew ... today was weird and different :) good different. i think the people in my class have already grouped off.made mates with this girl called Hannah. I thought it went pretty well. BUT the rest of the people ... hmm.. i don't think they like me too much... well two years of that then... yay...

but im glad that first day is over, it was so awkward and it just got worse for me, i missed the bus in the morning, forgot pens and notepads so I was just unprepared made an idiot of myself because I freeze when put on the spot which and when I did get out of there I dropped my notes I was meant to use for my homework so now, I just have to flog it and hope it works I have never felt so stupid. ultimate face palm. >.<  

but glad to be home, got my tea, doctor who on the telly and i don't have to go in tomorrow. thank god! but i have a feeling things might get worse :S but I hope for the best obviously. by the way I am a whovian. I am a massive doctor who fan

and the song of the day is
murry gold : i am the doctor
(yeah im in a very doctor whoie mood)